Ask RoChu
by xlittlecrazyviex
Summary: Yep, Russia and China are here to answer your questions. Don't worry they won't bite. So, yeah, everyone's allowed to ask. You can ask by PM or review. Inspired by 'Ask GerIta' by Chocolateismylover. "This will be fun, da?" "I'm just here for the Hello Kitty pajamas, aru."
1. Chapter 1

"You know, Russia," China stated as he turned his spoon in his mushroom soup. "There are other restaurants then Teremok, right?" He wiped a lock of dark brown hair out of his face and looked up at his boyfriend that, with his height, could be his father. They were having another date in Teremok, basically a Russian McDonalds. Russia just smiled his usual smile and continued to eat. He snuggled deeper into his scarf.

"I don't know if you'd like any other restaurants in my country, China. They're...different, da." China opened his mouth to object but decided against it. Even after 2 years, he was still slightly afraid of him. About five minutes later a small, petite girl walked up to the couple. Her skin was caramel-ish and her glassed were rather tilted, like they were bended almost to the point of one handle snapping off. However the girl doesn't seem to mind. She wasn't from here, that was for sure.

"Hello, sirs, do you need anything else?" The girl asked. Russia took a glance at her. Weird, he's never seen her before. And Russia was always here.

"No, thank you. We're just-"

"YOU'RE SO CUTE, ARU!" China then tackled the girl to the ground.

"God...can't breathe! Can't fucking breathe!" She quickly pushed the Chinese man off and stood up. "Anyway- OH SHIT! LOOK, THERE'S BELARUS!" That got Russia's attention right away.

"What?! Where? Can't she go away, da?" He ducked to the ground and held his hands over his head. China knelled before him, patting his back, telling him that's it's OK. The girl pulled on their arms.

"Follow me! I'll protect you two." The country's got up and quickly followed the mysterious girl through the backdoor and into a random car.  
"Now...how do I do this?" China perked up.

"YOU DON'T KNOW HOW TO DRIVE, ARU?!"

"DON'T JUDGE ME!" The girl quickly figured out which pedal was which and floored it down the street, into the city. And eventually...out of the country.

* * *

How China fell asleep, he doesn't know. That girl was a terrible driver! Worse than Italy, which is saying something. The elder nation woke up with a raging headache and saw that Russia was nowhere in sight. Also, he was in some mysterious house. In a random room. It had a bed, a TV, a desk with a laptop, and dresser. China's vision was blurry so that was as far as of detail he can get at the moment. He got up and headed out a door.

"-So, that's my proposal! What do you say, Russia?" A voice called from a few rooms down. China shuffled towards the voice into the kitchen, where the smell of vodka and microwavable chicken noodle soup dominated the room. He saw Russia sitting at a small wooden table, talking to the girl from yesterday. Wait...so that WASN'T A DREAM?!

"AYAH! WE WERE KIDNAPPED, ARU?! RUSSIA! YOU'RE MAKING SMALL TALK WITH THE ENEMY, ARU?! HOW COULD YOU?!" China started to freak out, ready to break a wall where the girl held him back.

"Unless you want to fall to your death, I don't think breaking my walls is a good idea." The girl sat China down in the seat next to Russia. "Allow me to introduce myself again. I'm xlittlecrazyViex! But, just call me Vie, since all of that is kinda a mouthful, trust me." She took a slurp of noodles. "I have an offer for you. You stay here, for free, and answer questions that will be... hold on!" Vie ran out the door and came back with her laptop that looked one more drop away from smashing into a million pieces. "That will be showed on here." She showed the two countries a website called fanfiction . net. "What do you say?"

"Ummm...I don't know, aru." China bit his lip. "I'm a country. I just can't drop my duties."

"I'll give you my Hello Kitty pajamas."

"OK!" China and Vie turned to Russia. "Is it an OK, Russia, aru?" Russia looked between the two.

"...Da... BUT, you have to become one with Russia." He pointed at Vie.

"No. But, I'll give you some of my grandma's liqour"

"Deal."

* * *

**A.N.: Yep, an ask RoChu story. .u. So, just ask them anything, and they'll answer as a couple. I don't care what you ask, just no text talk. ...Please.**

**Now...I'll just be here..eating my noodles, waiting. *slurp***


	2. Chapter 2

"Here, China." Vie handed the Chinese man a pair of pink Hello Kitty pajama pants. "The shirt's around somewhere. I don't know because sometimes I use it as a regular shirt." China cuddled up to the piece of fabric.

"It smells like cheap perfume but I DON'T CARE, ARU! IT'S HELLO KITTY!" China jumped onto the bed which he noticed has purple flowers on it and rolled around. Vie sighed and checked on the Russian. He was in the bathroom, trying to break the sink faucet. Vie widened her eyes and pulled the Russian away.

"NO! Do NOT break the faucet! I'll find you one, OK?" Vie gasped as she dragged him into her room and shut the door. "Now...we should answer those questions now before you two wreck the house." She took a leap into her wooden chair and looked through her email. "Wow, we have questions! I was really expecting this to be a failure."

"Well, read them, da!"

"You're impatient! Anyway, here's the first one."

**_BrittGrigg_**

**_BrittGrigg:Hi, Russia and China. I have a question for Russia. Do you have any_**  
**_attractions towered China and do you think he's cute? I think you 2 would make_**  
**_a great couple. Ja ne! :)_**

"Da. China's really cute. He's my panda bear." Russia smiled and started to fiddle with Vie's sticker covered TV.

"...The first question and I don't even get one, aru?" The Chinese man sniffed.

"Anyway..."

_**Reba**__**G**_

_**Reba G:Hi Guys Yay I Love this couple as much as I love GerIta Yeah, I don't**_  
_**like Belarus that much either -No offence Russia-**_

_**Questions:**_

_**Both of you, when did your relationship start and give me every detail.**_

_**China, why do you love Hello Kitty so much?**_

_**Russia, when you jumped off that plane without a parachute, what EXACTLY did**_  
_**you land on that broke your back so bad?**_

_**And, as a little greeting, here's a late Halloween video even though it's not**_  
_**Halloween related: watch?voxv1Q8YZdA4**_

_**Warning: In case you don't like blood and gore, get your pillows and stuffed**_  
_**panda's**_

Vie brushed her cursor over the link when she stopped. She looked over at the spazzy Chinese man and the crazy Russian who was suddenly planning some random game show host's death. "Yeeeah...I'm sorry Reba, I'm not going to click on the link. Most for the sake of my room."

China and Russia perked up at the first question. How were they to explain? "Well, aru. It started when Russia told France and England I was going to live with him, aru. I was extremely frightened but I wasn't going to object. If you don't know Russia, you'll feel like he'll snap you in half if you object him, a-aru." China started, fiddling with the pajamas. Russia continued on. "So, I took him home and he was scared during his first night, so he asked to sleep next to me, which I accepted, da. He was so warm and soft!" Russia smiled. "And no one shall touch him, da." Russia's face started to have the creepy look on his face again. Vie noticed the aura and looked around awkwardly.

"Oh, about my love for Hello Kitty, aru! She's just so cute and adorable and she-" China noticed that one of the Hello Kitty's on the pajamas was wearing glasses. "And she can wear glasses WAY better then America can!" Vie sighed and crossed her arms. She made a mistake giving those up. She knows she did...

"Russia, just answer the next question. I...I'm kinda depressed right now..." Vie walked into her closet and closed the door gently. Russia didn't mind. She looked funny when she was miserable anyway.

"Well...umm...I fell on _Ismoil Somoni Peak._ The highest mountain in Tajikistan's house. It wasn't fun, da." Russia rubbed his back and read the next question.

_**Future Kids-**_

"WAIT! WAIT! HOLD UP!" Vie kicked down her closet door. "Did I hear kids?" She smiled widely in hope. China nodded and with that Vie jumped into the Russian's lap. "Let me see! I love kids!" OK...back to the question.

_**Future Kids**_

_**Future Kids:Ni hao. My name is Bu-Ling Wang, aka: Beijing. And this is my**_  
_**sister-**_  
_**Anya: Let me introduce myself, da?**_  
_**Y-Yes, A-Anya. (*Is slightly scared of her sister*)**_  
_**Anya: My name is Anya Braginski, aka: Moscow.**_  
_**So, let's get to the point of this.**_

_**Anya's/Bu-Ling's Questions**_

_**-How will you react if you found out that we were your, I don't know, FUTURE**_  
_**CHILDREN?**_  
_**-Um...Did I see Belarus in your window? I'm pretty sure I did.**_  
_**Anya: Aunt Belarus? She is creepy, da?**_  
_**Yes, yes, Anya, she is creepy. (Don't tell Belarus that we said that!)**_  
_**-How did you first meet? What was your first date?**_  
_**-From Bu-Ling (but call me Pudding) and Anya**_

China immediately started to freak out. "Kids?! But, but! I'm a man, aru! And so is Russia! We can't have kids, right? And if we can, who will be the one giving birth to these two, aru?!" He paced the room quickly, nearing tripping on a pile of wires that kept Vie's laptop and TV running. Russia tried to move but the girl in her lap was rather heavy for a girl her size. That, and it was cute seeing China freak out.

"...My money's on China being the pregnant one..."

"To answer your first question, Pudding and Anya, I wouldn't be that shocked. It would be nice to know I'll be a father, da? Am a good father, right?" Russia smiled and finally succeeded in getting Vie off his lap. China stopped pacing and redeemed himself from that awkward moment. He cleared his throat.

"Well, it's kind of crazy. But I heard this happened to Italy and Germany, aru, so..it can't be that crazy...right?" China sweat-dropped and then got really serious. "You kids are doing you're homework, right, aru? And you're not causing trouble, correct?" the nation wagged his finger like a nagging woman would do. Then he stopped when he heard scratching on a window. The nations and authoress turned to said window. "Vie, you do it!"

"What?! But...fine... it is my house!" Vie tiptoed up to the window. "...Wait!" She grabbed her math textbook. "I'm ready..." The authoress pushed the pink curtains away, and saw Belarus trying to claw her way in. "What in the name of Saint Dominic?! This is the second floor!" She started to beat the Belorussian with the textbook. "DIE! DIE! ...Or at least go away!" Vie threw the textbook in the girls face, who fell back into a bush.

"Is she gone?" In the mist of all that, Russia found a way to squeeze under the bed. Vie nodded and the Russian slid right out.

"To answer your next question, girls, we met a long time ago, aru. Honestly, I don't remember it." China gushed, rubbing the back of his head and sitting on the edge of the bed.

"But, China. You should remember it, da? When the Manchua started to take you ov-"

"I choose not to remember it, aru." China interrupted, shivering lightly. Vie just stood there, feeling ignored. She turned to the program on TV and sat down to watch. "As for a first date, aru. It...it was terrible!" Russia blinked a few times but didn't object to this. "He took me to Teremok!" China pouted and started to mumble about what would've been better.

"Well, I gave you a kiss goodnight, da?" Russia rubbed the Chinese man's shoulders. China sniffed slightly.

"Well...yes, but."

"There's a stupid American saying that goes; All's well that ends well." Russia proclaimed. China couldn't help but agree to this logic. "Those are all the questions, Purple Girl."

"Really? That was- WAIT! Did you just call me 'Purple Girl'?" Vie blinked in disbelief.

"Da."

* * *

**A.N.: I hope I played Russia and China out well. Heh...Heh...anyway, Happy Daylight's Saving Time...which isn't really that happy.** **So..yeah..leave questions in reviews or PMs, please. ^^**


	3. Chapter 3

**A.N.: Some anti-RussiaXBelarus here so please don't shoot the authoress. Or kick her, or slap her, or murder in her sleep.**

* * *

Vie sighed as she tried to continue her project on Italy. The words on her screen started to blur into mush after a while. This was TOO boring. She'd rather become one with Russia. The small woman sighed and started to log into her email. "China! Russia! Come here! We're going to answer more questions." Russia slowly slid from his hiding spot behind her.

"You were writing about Mother Russia, da?" Russia smiled his usual, some-what creepy smile. Vie sighed and shook her head.

"Hell no! Too much history to look up and type." Vie stated this as she saved her project in a random folder. China chose that moment to enter the room wearing the whole Hello Kitty pajama set. He looked as if he accomplished a huge goal, all smiles.

"I found the shirt, aru!" China proclaimed as he sat on the bed. Vie sighed and turned back to the screen.

"Here's some questions."

_**Reba G **_

_**Reba G:I understand about the link but what do you mean by " for the sake of**_  
_**the room"?**_

_**China: well, that's true of hello kitty in glasses. Even though i never watch**_  
_**it or have any hk items i just have cute regular cats. Question: how did you**_  
_**react when you found out Russia broke his back?**_

_**Russia: OW. That does sound like it hurts.:-( am i ever glad your a nation**_  
_**otherwis knows where your country will go to. Question: why are you afraid of**_  
_**Belarus? And dont just say that she is just creepy. You should know that it**_  
_**was her fault that your so screwed with murder and stuff.**_

_**And why I'm writing so late because i woke up from a nightmare and waking up**_  
_**at 2am in the morning in pueblo makes it worse :-(**_

"I feel like if I show China the link, he's going to have a spazz attack and destroy my room. And I like my room, even though it's small." Vie chuckled as she sweatdropped. "Oh, and incase you want you see Hello Kitty with glasses, Reba G, here's the link to the pajamas that were once mine. Just remove the spaces. www. prlog 11613166-hello-kitty-sleepwear-and-more-on-sale. jpg" Vie's voice got a bit depressed as she finished that sentence. China took this as he chance to perk up.

"Regular cats, aru? Are they cute? Oh, when I found out Russia broke his back I called him and told him that he should've worn a parachute, aru! And that it was a stupid mistake on his part! And-" Before China could go on an hour long rant, the authoress smacked her hand over his mouth.

"Why am I afraid of Belarus? Well, she has this obsession over me which is really weird and just sick. Incest, it's called, da? And she broke Liet's fingers which I can only do with my pipe, so she's stronger than me too, da. Can we move on the something else?" Russia looked around, hoping that his little sister wasn't around to hear what was being said.

_**BrittGrigg**_

_**BrittGrigg:Hello, it's me again and I have a few questions.**_  
_**China:**_  
_**How in the world do you have so much patience to deal with the Allied forces**_  
_**everyday? I know I couldn't.**_

_**Russia:**_  
_**What DID you do to panda when you disguised yourself as him?**_

"Panda's at my house, da! He's fine...I think." Russia answered his question confidently. China widened his eyes and licked Vie's hand to free himself.

"Panda's alright?!" China's eyes sparkled with hope as Russia nodded. "Let's go see him!"

"You'll see him later. Mostly because you need to answer more questions and I'm hungry." Vie then reached for a granny smith apple that was on her dresser and started to eat it like a maniac. The two nations stared at her for a moment or two. "...What? I like green apples! They're yummy." Then she went back to her violent eating.

"As to answer your question, Britt, it's in the Chinese tasty treats. I put a special ingredient in them to keep me calm." China explained, rubbing his stomach. "Now, I'm hungry. Would any of you two want some Chinese tasty treats?" Vie looked up from her apple.

"Are they yummy?" Vie asked softly, excited about the idea of free food. China nodded.

"Of course! They're Chinese tasty treats."

"Let's go eat some!"

With that China and Vie walked to the kitchen to have some food. Leaving Russia alone. ...Oh fuck...

* * *

**A.N: Short, but these where all the questions I got. XDDD So, yeah. Ask questions in review or PM. Or hell, just mail the questions to me. At 123 S- *smacked in the face***


	4. Chapter 4

The next day, everything was less hectic. Sort of...

"Purple Girl. What is the name of this show?" Russia asked as he pointed at a showing of _The Pyramid_. The one where Dick Clark was the host. Yes, he was bored, if you couldn't tell. Vie didn't get him a pipe yet. The authoress, looking up from a book she was reading, shrugged.

"_The Pyramid_. But, this is the really old version. Want to play?" Russia turned back to the girl. How can one play a game that's on TV? Well, how hard can it be?

"Da! How do I play?"

"Just, close your eyes, listen to the clues and try to guess the word." Vie went back to her book. Russia nodded at these instructions and decided to give it a try. He closed his eyes.

_"Sharp...pointy...you can pick your teeth with it." _The person on the television screen described slowly. Russia has got this! This was too easy.

"Knife!" Russia smiled a bit wider at his smartness.

_"Toothpick?!" _

_"Correct!" _Russia frowned. Well, he can always try again.

_"There's a handle. It's dangerous if not used correctly. Curved."_

"Water pipe, da?" Russia asked with a tad less confidence then before.

_"Cane?"_

_"Correct!"_

Russia decided now was a great time to stop playing. He opened his eyes and turned to the authoress, glaring. "You lie. It wasn't fun at all. You apologize now, da?" Vie rolled her eyes.

"I never said it was fun. ...Fine. I'm s-"

"Look! More questions, aru!" China called from the desk in the other side of the room. It didn't take Vie long to drop everything and run up to the Chinese man.

"Let me see! So, the first one is..."

_**Reba G **_

_** Reba G:Yes China, they are ADORABLE Every morning when I feed them, they**_  
_** surround me and meow with their eyes so BIG O god I love my cat's Along with**_  
_** my adorable dogs which are a lapdog and beagle.**_

_** Questions:**_

_** China: Why do you love Panda's so much though I wouldn't be surprised about**_  
_** your answer.**_

_** Russia: Yea. It is disgusting but ONLY between you two. I don't mind the**_  
_** others. So, anyway, you know the part when Canada's, say "who" and I'll hurt**_  
_** you, bear was gnawing on your head, how did you wind up in that situation**_  
_** anyway?**_

_** And, I am gonna send some video's so, have a look:**_

_** watch?vu155ncSlkCk watch?vD-ZBcmcje_s**_

_** They are both panda vids so it'll be best to put China in a cage.**_

_**And, on this one, skip to 3:15: watch?v7efRJK-DflU&**__**featurerelated**_

_** This is what I think Belurus' 'dream' kids would sound like.**_

_** I'm sorry for scaring you Russia. Here *gives you a stuffed siberian husky**_  
_**with a sunflower in his mouth* a gift for night**_** safety**

"Aww, I can imagine, aru! Do they look like Hello Kitty at all? What is there not to like about pandas, aru? They're cute and soft and they don't stab you in the back like some island nations, aru. Named Japan." He pouted and perked up at the words panda vid. "Let's watch them, Vie, aru!"

"...Fine..."

-TWO PANDA VIDEOS LATER-

"OHMYGODONICETHATWASSOADORABL E!" Vie squealed as she clapped her hands. China was staring at the screen, watching the video of the panda's escaping for the 5th time.

"Why doesn't the nurse let the cute, little panda roam free, aru?! Why?!" China started to bang on the keys when the nurse laid the panda in the crib, again! "Leave the poor panda alone, aru! He didn't do anything to you!" Russia was just standing there, thinking on how that panda's fur would look on his walls. Of course, China wouldn't allow that, but it doesn't hurt to imagine.

"The polar bear just walked into my house and thought my head looked tasty. I called Canada because he's an expert at this stuff, da?"

-ANOTHER VIDEO LATER-

Russia squeezed the plushy tightly and nodded. "Yes, it does sound like what Belarus's dream kids would sound like. ...Let's hope that dream never comes true." Vie nodded in agreement, giggles escaping her lips. China tilted his head to the side, not getting these Western jokes.

"I don't get it, aru."

Of course he was ignored.

"Let's move onto the next question."

_**ImHetalian**_

_**Hallo! I really love Rochu,so cute,like pandas okay! I have a question for both of you lovelys This one is for Russia: Hallo Russia! I have a question why do you like to be so scary? Even though your so cute! (Big fan v) and for China: Are you still upset when Japan left you? Okay now for the both of you!: Who was the first to admit there feelings? okay bye!**_

"I'm not scary, da? Am I scary?" He turned to the authoress with a creepy smile on his face. Vie shrugged.

"You really think if I thought you were scary I would let you into my house? I stopped being scared of you months ago."

China looked down when he read his question. "Sometimes... he just left me! I never did anything to him, aru! And he stabbed me in the back! Literally, aru! Would you like to see my scar?!" China started to strip himself of his Hello Kitty shirt for some reason he hasn't taken off until now.

"No!"

"Da!"

"Move onto the next question!" Vie covered her face with her hands, not wanting to see a giant scar on someone's back. "Please! Just move onto the next question!"

"The first to admit my feelings was me!" Russia raised his hand to make sure he was seen. Even though he was taller than both China and Vie.

**_Chocolateismylover_**

"WHOA! WHOA! MOVE CHINA!" Vie then proceeded to push China out of the chair into Russia's arms. She didn't notice the dark aura now forming around the Russian. Actually, she didn't care. Her inspiration just reviewed!

_**Chocolate: OHMYGOSH! You got the idea for this from me? I feel famous! *Has**_  
_**spazz attack and runs into wall***_  
_**Germany: Um, Chocolate, are you alright? You really need to stop eating large**_  
_**amounts of sugary things before leaving reviews.**_  
_**Italy: Ve, I think she's fine. I do the same thing every once in a while.**_  
_**Chocolate: Anyway, I decided to come here with my own Ask panel with Germany**_  
_**and Italy to ask questions. Well actually, we're kind of on the run from the**_  
_**Daleks (long story) and we happened to pass by.**_  
_**Germany: So, China, where were you able the get the training that allowed you**_  
_**to beat me and Japan up with only a wok for a weapon, back when we were**_  
_**stranded on that island?**_  
_**Italy: AAAHHH RUSSIA PLEASE DON'T KILL ME! I HAVE RELATIVES IN YOUR COUNTRY!**_  
_**Germany: *facepalm* You're supposed to ask a question, Italy.**_  
_**Italy: Oh. Um. Russia, if I give you enough pasta, will you stop asking me to**_  
_**become one with you? It really creeps me out.**_  
_**Chocolate: My turn! China, is being a bit afraid of Russia still a barrier in**_  
_**your relationship, or are you getting over your fear of him? And Russia, I**_  
_**don't suppose you could scare away the Daleks that are following us, could**_  
_**you? If anyone can defeat them, it's you.**_

"Yep! You're an inspiration chicka!" Vie then proceeded to hug her laptop, as if it was the real Chocolate herself. ...This authoress is weird...

"Oh, that's easy, aru! No training needed! Well, maybe some samurai training, but that's it, aru. Wait, are you going to use this against me, aru?! As for Chocolate's question, I'm getting over it. Just sometimes his aura thing scares me. And his habit of eating endings, aru..."

Russia stepped up at the mention of his name from the Italian. "But Italy. Becoming one with me isn't so bad. Right?" Behind him, Vie was holding two red flags, waving them around like a crazy person.

"Run! Just run, Italy!" Vie whispered as loud as she can. Which was really loud, as if she didn't even know what a whisper WAS.

"As for Chocolate's question, da, I'll do it. For vodka!"

_**Alaska F. Braginski**_

_**Hello Dad.  
CHIIIIIINAAAAAAAAAA :3**_

S_**o dad why did you sell me?**_

_**Why do you stalk china?**_

_**What would you do if I told you a stole Latvia?**_

_**Haha America says hi. No wait, he just gave you the finger. And said something**_  
_**about why did you have to dump such a creepy kid on him.**_

_**Soooooo**_

_**China.**_

_**Hi.**_

_**Do you like Tacos?**_

_**Because I don't. :)**_

_**If you said yes something bad will happen.**_

_**Hehehehehehheheheheheheheheh e**_

_**Soooooooooo.**_

_**You might want to check your closet. I can't believe you haven't noticed me.**_

_**Well goodbye for now, China you are awesome, Russia, why you dump me?**_

"Another kid? How many kids do we have?!" China started to panic, once again. Russia sighed when he saw who it was.

"_Privet_, Alaska... I had to. You know I did. Let's not talk about this, da?" Russia sighed and rubbed his temple. "I do not stalk China." His usual happy self was back and gave China a hug. "He's my panda bear!" China sighed softly but didn't pull away from said hug.

"I don't even know what tacos are, aru." China explained. Vie, on the other hand, looked like she was about to have heart attack.

"B...But, I like tacos!" Suddenly a knock was heard from the closet. All three heads turned to the source of the noise. The closet.

...

"Russia! You do it!" Vie exclaimed, hiding behind the tall Russian. "He's your son!" With a push from the authoress, Russia opened the closest door to see that Alaska was, in fact, hidden inside a suitcase. And so was Latvia, but that's not the point.

_"Poka, Alyaska." _With that, Russia pushed the Alaskan and Latvian back into the apparently transporting suitcase. Well, that was easier than all three of them thought...

* * *

**A/N: Finally a long chapter! *fist pump* So, yeah, ask questions in reviews or PMs. Or you can use the transporting suitcase! ...OK, maybe not the transporting suitcase until I figure out how is works. XDD **

**And thanks for all the reviews so far! You guys rock! I literally thought this was going to be a failure. XDDDD**

**So, enough with my randomness. See ya in the next chapter.  
**


	5. Chapter 5

"For the last time Russia! You can't kill someone who's already dead!" Vie explained for the fifth time in a row. Russia tilted his head to the side, clearly not understanding that logic. If you're wondering, they're fighting on a question Russia asked, which was if he can kill a game show host that was already dead.

"But, if someone's already dead, that gives you a right to kill it some more." Russia explained, fluffing Vie's braids. "Silly purple girl!" Vie rolled her eyes. It was obviously no use. She turned to China who was focused on the TV in front of him. They decided to move to the living room for once since the bedroom was getting extremely boring.

"I don't like this Family Feud thing, aru. The questions are weird and I don't get half the 'jokes.'" China crossed his arms. The authoress sighed loudly and rubbed her temple.

"How about I ask the people who ask the questions for any ideas to keep you occupied because you don't like the shows I like." Vie offered. Anything was better than this complaining.

"...Fine, aru."

"Speaking of questions, we should check for questions now, da?" Russia asked. "Question, can I ask the people for stuff?"

"No, Russia, that's desperate and pathetic." Vie stated, rolling her eyes. She took out her phone and opened her email. Hey, we have quite a few messages!"

"We do, da?"

"Not really, but they're questions and you're answering them. The first question is..."

_**From: YouTubeStupidity12**_

_**Bu-Ling: Yes, Mom (that's she calls China), we done our homework and all of**_  
_**that ** aru. (*Realizes she swore*) IT'S DC'S FAULT, ARU!**_  
_**Anya: Don't remind me of the capitalist pig. She still owes me 50 American**_  
_**dollars.**_  
_**Bu-Ling: She owes ME a hundred, aru!**_

_**The Russian/Chinese Kids' Questions-**_

_**-Have you ever meet your female selves, aru? I think Anya and I did meet our**_  
_**male counterparts...**_  
_**-If Washington D.C is hiding in your closet, tell her that Anya is after**_  
_**her...again. (She has blonde hair and blue/green eyes and wears glasses, aru.)**_  
_**-Father, can you lend me your pipe, da? I need to bash that stupid American**_  
_**girl's head in, da?**_  
_**Bu-Ling: That is a little too far in getting our money, aru.**_

_**-From Anya and Pudding**_

"Our female selves, aru...?" China pondered at this. "I don't think so. I didn't even know they existed." the Chinese man shrugged and turned to the Russian who was nodding.

"Da, I've met her. It was awkward. Ask for the next question, how about I bash America's head in so he'd know how to control his children." Russia tapped his fist on his hand softly, as if it was his pipe. Vie rolled her eyes. Maybe he should beg for a pipe. Less things for her to do to make them feel more at home.

"Next question..."

_**Reba G**_

_**Reba G:No, China their not like Hello Kitty but they are cute as her. And,  
yea, I was practically encouraging to run for freedom I WANT A PET PANDA and,  
to help you with the joke, poor Jeff is living in a house of females...and not  
the good kind. and like he said, he is HAPPY to be in Santa Ana.**_

_**Questions:**_

_**Both: How did your bosses react to your relationship?**_

_**China: Speaking of your boss, how long did it take for you to stop beating him**_  
_**up with your HK pillow? and how in the living HECK do you have a DRAGON for a**_  
_**BOSS?!**_

_**Russia: WILL YOU GET OVER THE WHOLE "BECOME ONE WITH RUSSIA" THING PLEASE?!**_  
_**IT'S NOT FUNNY ANYMORE! and also, why do you love sunflowers so much?**_

_**Chocolate(incase she reads this): WHERE THE HECK ARE YOU?! I AM WAITING FOR**_  
_**YOU TO COME BACK! C'MON! TTTTT_TTTTT**_

_**Video Moment: watchvGUMuDg55NLc&featurerelated**_

_**watch?v2Tgwrkk-B3k&featurerelated**_

**_watch?v9GScWytRYPw_**

**_and why I doing this is because I like how you guys react_**  
**_Also, China, I know you don't get western jokes but it can work if you listen_**  
**_and imagine_**** it. **

"Ooooh, now I get it. Thank you, Reba, aru. As for the question, it took quite a while before my boss took Hello Kitty away from me and washed the marker off her face, which I was grateful about. Also, he's not a dragon, he just like wearing a dragon costume, aru." China finished, taking in a breath of air.

"I never said it was funny. Why would you think it's funny? It's serious, da?" Russia explained, his smile getting wider and creepier. "And sunflowers are grown in a warm place and I would like to live in warm places. General Winter really doesn't want that to happen."

"Umm, Reba, you know this isn't Chocolate's story, right? If you want to ask her this question, PM her, don't ask on a story where she's not even in it. I don't mean to be rude, I'm just...putting that out there." Vie sweatdropped and bit her lip. "Ummm...let's watch those videos."

-TWO VIDEOS LATER-

"THEDOGVIDEOSWERESOCUTE, ARU!" China bounced up and down. He repeated the videos again. Russia smiled at the dogs.

"What do you think America would say if I took those dogs?"

"He would be pissed, aru." China answered. Vie slowly reached for the mouse.

"OK...let's watch the next-OW! Did you just SMACK MY HAND?!" Vie rubbed her hand softly and sniffed. China glared up at her.

"No, aru! I want watch this video again."

Russia just sat there, satisfied at the situation. Vie was getting annoying, always going ahead of everyone.

"...Fine. I'll just look at the questions on my phone."

Fuck...

_**From: Alaska F. Braginski**_

_** Wow even I am wondering why I fit in a soup case. It is weird that is it**_  
_** called soup case if not full of soup da?**_  
_** That question show... Don't worry I thought knife too. That man on the screen**_  
_** deserves to be smashed into a pulp**_

_** Russia: what is your favorite torture device?**_

_** Favorite flavor of vodka?**_

_** Do you like my gorilla bar? Because if you don't, it won't like you**_

_** Pandas on walls are wrong... How could you do that? D: You are a meenie dad.**_

_** China: can I visit? Pleeeease? I promise I won't eat any of your pandas like**_  
_** last time, da? ? :D**_

_** Show me your scar.**_  
_** If you feel like you don't have enough I could give you more... :)**_

_** What are your feeling on penguins?**_

_** Hey do you mind if I date Taiwan?**_

_** That's all.**_

_** No wait**_  
_** Seriously**_  
_** Let me visit.**_  
_** Or something unpleasant will happen.**_  
_** J**_

_** No I do not have that big of a nose.**_  
_** Well kind of.**_  
_** But not really.**_  
_** Last person who said that... Well... I stopped buying Ground meat for a few**_  
_** days. :)**_

_** Well bye now.**_

"THE MAN'S ALREADY DEAD! God!" Vie flopped down onto her bed and groaned.

"I feel like that too, Alaska. We should go find him, da?" Russia commented, his smile getting borderline-creepy. "Oh, to answer your questions, my favorite torture weapon is the whip. And China likes it too. Da?" China's face turned to a cherry red and he kept his eyes on the screen.

"Uhh umm, I-I ummm..."

"See I like all types of vodka, I don't chose favorites when it comes to vodka. All vodka is Russia's favorite, da? ...What's a gorilla bar?" Russia tilted his head.

"YOU WANT TO PUT PANDAS ON WALLS, ARU?! How COULD you?!" China gasped.

"Just answer your damn questions, China..."

"Oh...right, aru. As for your first question, NO! Don't ever come to my house again, aru! Same with Taiwan. Leave here alone! ...Are penguins cute, aru?"

"Yes, China, they're cute..."

"Then YES, aru!"

"Let's move onto the next question, da?"

**_From: BrittGrigg _**

**_ BrittGrigg:Hello again. I know I have a lot of questions but I have one more_**  
**_ pair for you._**

**_ Russia: why do you always where your scarf everywhere?_**

**_ China: what are your opinions about South Korea (the groping and sneak_**  
**_ attacks, etc)?_**

**_ Bye-bye for__ now!_**

"It's OK, I encourage these questions. The more questions, the longer they stay." Vie wrapped her arms around the two nations. Russia kept a good grip on his scarf.

"I wear it all the time because it's a part of my old life, da? Back when we all lived as the Soviet Union..."

"Can I wear it?" Vie reached for it.

"No! Kolkolkolkolkol!" Russia glared at the authoress who moved away a bit in fear.

"OK then..."

"South Korea...I like his sibling better, aru! South Korea was a failure! Always with the groping and the claiming of breasts, aru! I don't want to talk about it! I don't know what I did wrong, aru!"

"Oh, before I forget, you review people give Russia a pipe, da? And vodka?"

"Russia! What are you doing?!"

"Asking the review people for stuff. They'll listen to Russia, da?"

"Oh, can you people give me a sword, aru! And more Hello Kitty products?!"

"You're begging too, China?!"

"It might work, aru."

"...Well...I could use a big bag of green apples..."

* * *

**A/N: This took forever to do. XDD Drama got in the way of my life. So I'm gonna be depressed for a chapter or two.**

**And sorry for everyone's begging. They're all desperate. XDDDDD  
**

**Don't forget to ask China and Russia questions in Reviews or PMs.  
**


	6. Chapter 6

"OH MY GOD! H-HE'S HER SON! AND SHE'S HIS MOM! OH MY GOD! I'M READY TO FIND LOIS LOWERY AND HUG HER TO DEATH FOR THIS AWESOME SERIES! OH MY GOD!" Vie screamed as she rolled around her bed with a book in her hand. Russia, who was raiding Vie's fridge, watched her while nibbling on some random crackers.

"Did someone die?" Russia tried to look at the title of the book but Vie beat him too it, shoving the book in his face.

"NO, well I don't think so, but NO! IT'S SON BY LOISE LOWERY! THE LAST BOOK IN THE GIVER SERIES! I only read the last page so I can have an idea of how it ends but IT'S ALREADY SO AWESOME! YOU SEE, THIS BOY NAMED-"

"What if someone who's reading that book is reading this, aru? They would murder you if you ruin the book for them." China interrupted. Vie felt her lower lip quiver. She sniffed.

"But...but it's SO AWESOME! I need to talk about it with SOMEONE! And my friends at school HATE the series so they're out!" Vie sniffed again and China sighed.

"Let's answer questions, da?" Russia commented, shoving another cracker into his mouth. China nodded.

"Yes, aru. It'll take your mind off things." China clicked on the tab with Vie's email that was always open now for some reason and clicked on the first review.

_**Alaska F. Braginski**_

_**Hello! I have some gifts for everyone! Yaaaay! **_  
_** *Gives Russia a toaster* **_  
_** *Gives China a tub of mustard* **_  
_** Enjoy! **_

_** Oh, a gorilla bar is just a really big big crowbar, da? More fun then a tiny crowbar. **_

_** Today I have been eating corn. Corn. Corn. Corn. Corn. Corn. Corn. *throws ears of corn at China* **_

_** Russia: **_  
_** If America offered you 50% of his land if you did whatever he wanted would you accept. **_

_** Umm...this is a little awkward, but could you please tell your big sister that dating my aunt would be weird. Because I think she hangs around me a little too much. Something about me... Uh looking like you. **_  
_** *places a can of spam in front of russia.* **_

_** Which baltic is funniest to torture?**_

_** If you could switch lives with one person who would it be?**_

_** China: with I first wrote your name it said chins. What do you think of that? **_

_** Wow your boss is silly. Dressing up like a dragon. **_

_** Think fast! *Throws lamp at china* **_

_** I hope you enjoyed that. **_

_** What kind of jam do you like the least? **_

_** If you could switch lives with one person, who could it be? **_

_** Weeeeeell I think that's all I have- wait. I wanna visit! **_

_** *Jumps into soupcase and lands in Chinas house* hiiiii china *Offers some ground meat with no label* Peace offering** **da?**_

Russia looked at his toaster with confusion. "...This can hurt people, da?" He shook it, fiddled with the cable, and almost stuck his finger in it.

"No, but-" Vie took the toaster and bolted out the room. "I needed a toaster!"

"...She'll come back. They always come back, da?" Russia tilted his head to the side, smiling away. China took a look at his mustard and dipped his finger in it. He looked at the smelly, yellow goo and took a taste. It didn't taste bad so China kept the jar for himself.

"For my questions, no I wouldn't accept. He has to fully be a part of Mother Russia. Or no deal. I like to mess with, or torture if you want to use was you American's call 'technical terms', Latvia the most. He's just so short, da?" Russia took the moment to take a breath. "And I would like to switch with Canada, so Mother Russia can move to the Americas, da?" Russia finished with a creepy smile for emphasis.

China clears his throat and spoke.

"Everyone misspells my name like that, aru." He groaned. "I got used to it..." The Chinese man ducked when a lamp appeared out of no where and headed towards him. It landed with a plop on the bed. Vie took the opportunity to slip into the room and snatch that too, not knowing she's breaking many black stereotypes right now. Once China got over the fact that a lamp almost killed him, he continued with his answers. "I don't like jam, aru. Period. And I would like to switch live with one of those micro-nations. Like Sealand or Wy, aru."

Vie entered the room again, holding a poptart fresh out of her new toaster and smiled. "What did I-" Then she noticed the Alaskan just sitting on her bed, holding a can that was label-less, smiling.

...

"Dude...you're sitting on my book. Get off of it, or I'm sending you back home." She snatched the book she was obsessing with earlier and clutched it tightly against her chest.

"Next question, aru..."

_**Reba G**_

_** Reba G:Good that you got it**_

_** Questions:**_

_** China: He's not a dragon? Well, I surprised. He looked like it to me. Anyway,**_  
_** at the time you went rebel and rogue when America and England took things to**_  
_** far on you, why didn't you make a run for it after all the holes you made? And**_  
_** why didn't you hit France when he was dreaming about doing stuff to you? You**_  
_** have a wok for a reason!**_

_** Russia: I don't like your general already even though I never seen him. Where**_  
_** is he so I can go Belerus on him?!**_

_** viex: I know. But, I did that so I can get an answer from her. We haven't seen**_  
_**her in a while, ya** **know?** _

"No, aru. He just gets drunk a lot and believes he's a dragon. ...I need a new boss, aru." China sighed to himself. "I tried to run but America wouldn't let me leave, aru! Western bastard! ...Wait...France was dreaming about me?! I...I think I'm going to go vomit, aru." China then took his leave.

Russia shrugged at his question.

"I don't see him much anymore, da? Something about 'global warming'."

Vie sighed and nodded. "Get it but it's still a bit rude. If you're getting impatient, do what I do; read more ask stories. Even the ones that aren't even updated anymore. They're still funny."

_**Blackrose**_

_** Blackrose:Oh do you need all that?Ok.*Hands everything you all asked**_  
_** for*That's better,da?**_  
_** *Smiles a 'reassuring' smile*I don't know why but people call me**_  
_** submissive...Anywho!Time for my questions!**_  
_** Russia:What do you mean by becoming one?Is it like becoming**_  
_** friends!?*Excited,jumping up and down***_  
_** China:What would you do if your boss made you get rid of all the panda's in**_  
_** the world?Would you do that or would you cry and tell him no?**_  
_** That's it!**_  
_** P. :Is it weird to have dreams about a store all about pandas?**_  
_**Blackrose **_

Vie squealed as she took an apple and teared it to shreds with her teeth. "Thank you!" She dragged her bag to the fridge and stuffed it inside. Meanwhile, Russia was examining his new pipe carefully and smirking.

"Oh you would like to know the mean of 'becoming one', da? Come here and I'll show you." If Vie was in the room, she would be behind the Russian, flailing red flags around and telling Blackrose to run. But she wasn't here now so...yeah...nice knowing you.

China opened the door to the bedroom dramatically. Most of his face was covered with his hair and his new sword shined in that creepy ways in movies.

"I would say no...just no, aru..." China then perked up at the mention of pandas. "You have those dreams too?!"

OK...next question before this gets too creepy on China's part.

_**Chocolateismylover**_

_**Chocolate: Hello it's me again!**_  
_**Italy: And me!**_  
_**Germany: ...Chocolate should be working on her next chapter instead of**_  
_**reviewing here.**_  
_**Chocolate: you're probably right, but I uploaded like three chapters the other**_  
_**day and it's past my bedtime now. Besides, I have more questions!**_  
_**Italy: Wait, I want to ask one first! China, I know you like pandas, but what**_  
_**about cats? Cats are so cute, ve!**_  
_**Chocolate: Also, China, do you ever get in trouble with America when Hong Kong**_  
_**draws stuff that he copyrighted? I have a feeling he did and that it might**_  
_**have had to do with Disn-**_  
_**Germany: DON'T SAY IT! AMERICA WILL SUE US!**_  
_**Chocolate: Sorry. Russia, do all Northern countries like you and Canada have**_  
_**purple eyes, or is it just a coincidence? That's enough questions for now I**_  
_**guess. For Reba G: CALM DOWN! I uploaded quite a few chapters and I'll upload**_  
_**on Friday so everything's okay. And Vie? Rock on, girl. You are awesome.**_

"Hey guys." Vie waved and sat down on the edge of the bed next to the Alaskan who was still there. The awkward silence between them was, well, awkward! "...I'm ready to send you home." She announced before going back to her book.

"Cat are cute too, aru! Japan got me to like them. He's not that terrible, aru." China took a moment to think back to that day. "NO, I DID NOT, ARU! YOU DON'T KNOW THAT! DID YOU GET IT OUT OF MY BOSS, ARU?!" Russia took the moment to cover the Chinese man's mouth and pull him towards his soft body.

"My panda isn't really in the mood to answer that question so I'll just answer mine, da?" Russia smiled and mindlessly messed China's hair. "It was a coincidence." The Russian shrugged and went back to his activity.

Vie perked up at the mention of her name. "Huh? What? I'm sorry, I was focused on this book. It's called Son by Lois Lowery. Have you read it, Chocolate? Or at least The Giver?"

With that the girl went back to the object in her hands and the couples was about to move into the other room when-

"Wait, aru!"

Everyone looked at him.

"What do we do with him...?" He pointed at Alaska who was still there.

...Fuck...

* * *

**A/N: Before I start, I might as well say this. OH MY GOD ON ICE! THE GIVER SERIES IS SOOOOO GOOD, I CAN'T STOP READING, I NEED SOMEONE TO FANGIRL WITH! .u. OK...I'm done. You will probably not see that side of me in a long time. XDDD**

**Anyway, I want to apologize to the admin of Alaska F. Braginski if I didn't do the character's personality correctly since I just wrote him sitting there, holding his can of ground beef. XDD  
**

**And...oh yeah, I'm not going to be posting much on Thanksgiving week. You Americans know what I'm talking about. .u. But seriously, from November 20 to November 25 I'm not going to be online or posting at all.  
**

**...I just realized all the black stereotypes I broken. XDD Whoops... .n.  
**

**OK, I'm done rambling. XDDD  
**


	7. Chapter 7

Vie groaned loudly as she woke up. How did she sleep last night? Especially hearing Russia and China do whatever it is that they do in the other room. Well, it's better not to ask. The authoress turned around to fall asleep once more, only to see a creepy Alaskan asleep next to her.

"HOLY FUCK! WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE?! RUSSIA! YOUR SON IS STILL HERE!" Vie rolled off the bed and frantically grabbed her glasses and slipped them on, just to make sure she was hallucinating. Yeeeah...she wasn't. Russia decided now was a good time to take his time to get into the room.

"You didn't know that he was still here, da? He's been here all day."

"I thought he would've left in the middle of the night like a stalker or something!" Vie explained, getting up from the floor.

"What's going on, aru?" China walked in as well, stretching and yawning. He rubbed his eyes. "What time is it?"

"I don't know, like 8 in the morning." Vie yawned as well.

"We have breakfast now, da?"

"You make your own breakfast. Or make China do it. I have to check my email anyway." Vie slipped into her chair and logged on. "More questions. Let's answer them no-" Vie chose that moment to turn around and seeing her guests eating. "You have FOOD?! And you didn't make me any?!"

"You didn't ask, aru..."

"If you asked, we would've fed you, da?" Russia smiled and took another bite of bacon. Vie felt her eye twitch.

"Fuck you both... Let's just answer these questions."

_**Alaska F. Braginski**_

_** Don't worry it was fine. After all, I have not killed you yet, da? And it was**_  
_** not ground beef... but you need to eat it. :D Eatiteatiteatit... *shoves in**_  
_** Vies face* eat it. Now.**_

_** I see you ignored my corn. I do not like this. _ So I will give you more...**_  
_** *rumbling sound***_  
_** *5 tanks slowly pass, shooting corn at Vies house.***_  
_** People areso pretty with carrots shoved in their eyes.**_  
_** And I have read the giver. It is such a funny book! :)**_  
_** Russia: do you like corn? Do you like corn? Do you like corn?**_

_** Goat or sheep?**_

_** Have you ever been sold, Father? It's not fun. And my other dad is a doushé,**_  
_** da?**_

_** Try rolling down a hill covered in grass.**_

_** China: What is the weirdest food you have ever eaten?**_

_** Do you like corn? Do you like corn? Do you like corn?**_

_** Have you ever eaten a man?**_

_** That is all. I am still here though. Your bed is so comfy. *rolls around on**_  
_** it***_

Vie snatched the meat out of the Alaskan's hand. "Food!" She darted out the room. Alaska reached for the laptop. "Touch my laptop and I'll rip your head off and feed them to the birds!" The authoress was obviously very protective of her laptop. As she ran into her kitchen, she tripped, on corn. Wait...corn? She didn't buy corn! Then she noticed the tanks. ...Oh fuck. She ducked as corn shot through her window onto the floor of the small kitchen. "Is it over...?"

Now back to the main characters in this story...if it could be called that. Can it be called that? Whatever. Russia ahemed and nodded.

"Da, corn is nice. Except when it comes from America... I like sheep because I can eat them and have a warm coat for when General Winter comes to down, da?" Suddenly Russia got upset. "I haven't been sold but my friends in the Soviet Union left me..." He looked down, gripping his new pipe. "But Russia will get them back, da? Russia will always get his revenge..." China made his way in front of Russia.

"For all you people who live in countries who were a part of the Soviet Union, Russia doesn't mean it, aru!"

"But I-"

"No you don't, aru! I'll just answer my questions now. The weirdest food I've ever eaten was this thing Vie gave me called oxtail. It barely had any meat, aru!" China pouted and huffed. "Corn is...nice... And I might have eaten a man before...maybe..."

Suddenly cheering was heard down the hall.

"FREE FOOD! CORN CAME FROM THE SKY!"

...The couple didn't even want to ask.

"ANSWER THE NEXT QUESTION!"

**_Reba G _**

**_ Reba G:Good Advise and sorry that I was rude._**

**_ China: yea, I'd kill your boss too if he made you get rid of all the panda's._**  
**_ I'd kill him DRAGON style if he is so into being one. Question: How annoying_**  
**_ is it to you that people keep on calling you a girl since you look like one? I_**  
**_ couldn't blame them, though, you look awfully beautiful for a guy._**

**_ Russia: I think I got the idea of "becoming one" since poor China is an_**  
**_ example. If that's the case, what are you still doing here? This is your_**  
**_chance to run like that panda cub with no nurse to shove you back?!_**

"It's really annoying, aru! I do not look like a girl! Do I, aru?!" China turned towards the tall Russia before him to just smiled. Alaska, who was still there, held up a sign that says 'yes'. Well, China's confidence went WAY down.

"Oooh, you think becoming one means having sex. ...Nope, I just call it sex, da?" He smiled, knowing he confused a bunch of readers.

_**Blackrose**_

_**Blackrose:Show me?Okay!*Oblivious*WAIT!I have more questions!China,Yes I do**_  
_**have those was a lot of stuff to like pajama's with little pictures of**_  
_**panda's on was so cute I almost spazed!Did you know in the mall they have**_  
_**panda earrings?!I almost got them but my mom said 'NO!You're starting to have**_  
_**an obbsession with pandas!'Then I gasped and said 'Obbsession?!Mother you-you**_  
_**panda hater!'Then she dragged me out of the mall and drove us 's your**_  
_**favorite food?NOW I'll come*Still oblivious***_  
_**Blackrose**_

"No! ...No, aru! Never ask Russia to show you what becoming one means." China yelled, keeping Russia away from the reader. "And there's panda stuff at the mall?! Vie! Get in here! We're going to the mall?"

"The what?!" Vie burst through the door. "No! We're not going to the mall!" She suddenly started biting her nails, which now that everyone noticed them were pretty much already bitten.

"What's wrong with the mall? It's fun, da?"

"It IS but...I...I..." She sighed. "Fine, let's go..."

"Yes, aru! Now...how do we get a car, aru?"

"Well, uhhh... I didn't think of that. So, I guess we stay!" Vie eagerly turned on the TV to see what was on.

"I guess you just ask questions now, aru." China shrugged to the readers. "And can you send us a car?"

"I THOUGHT WE STOPPED BEGGING! LET THEM GIVE US STUFF WHEN THEY WANT TO!" Vie yelled, eyes on TV.

* * *

**A/N: Don't forget to ask questions in review or PM. XD**


	8. Chapter 8

Vie smirked as she plopped her cards on the middle of the kitchen table. "Royal flush, dude! Pay up!" Alaska groaned at this and lifted his knife to stab the cards before him. The authoress rolled her eyes. "I don't give a shit if you're upset. It's a game. We're playing for ketchup packets for God's sakes!" Vie stated. China pouted and dealed out the cards again.

"Why are we playing this game again, aru?" He sighed and picked up his cards.

"Russia doesn't like this game. ...Who created it?" The tall Russian asked, slamming his cards down. "I fold.."

"I think America did."

"I should kill him for making this, da?"

"No!" The girl snapped, slamming her hand down as well. "I fold too..."

Alaska smirked, showing his hand, 3 of a kind. China looked at his cards in confusion. "What's this, aru?" China showed his hand, 4 aces. Alaska then flipped the table and sat there, pouting.

"...Baby..." Vie coughed, making Russia laugh. The authoress yawned, stretching herself. "So, now what should we do? We exhausted everything we can do, which in my house isn't really much." She sighed, jumping off of her chair and getting a green apple and munching on it.

"We can answer questions, da?"

"Fine, aru."

Vie took out her phone and checked.

"We have a few questions."

_**Reba G**_

_** Reba G:China: Don't get the whole girl thing down. I mean c'mon, girls can be**_  
_** tough too. Look at Mulan from the disney movie.**_

_** Russia: THEN WHAT THE HECK DO YOU MEAN?! And just tell us instead of showing**_  
_** us. I'm also surprised you didn't agree with with me on my compliment to**_  
_** China, though.**_

"True. Mulan is pretty nice, aru..."

"IT means you become one with Russia... literally. We make a new Soviet Union. That would be fun...da?" Russia's eyes got extremely dark and an black aura surrounded. "Lithuania, Estonia, Latvia, and the rest of them were one with Russia then they _left_ me!"

"...Nice...we broke Russia..." Vie stated, looking at the next question.

_**Hex the Ninja**_

_**Dear Russia, China and xlittlecrazyViex,**_

_**Hey! My name is Cynthia Fortis! I figured that since you have a letter**_  
_**write-in too, I might as well write to you before my *ahem* crazy adopted**_  
_**siblings get here...**_

_**(CYNTHIA! MORGAN'S TURNING JAPANESE!)**_

_**Sydney! I'll tell you for the last time; just because she listens to J-Pop**_  
_**does NOT mean Morgan's turning Japanese!**_

_**(...Are you sure?)**_

_**Yes!**_

_**(...FIGHT THE FAIRIES!)**_

_**...Let insanity ensue! :D**_

_**Fortis out!**_

_**-Cynthia**_

Vie just sat there, confused. "Uhhh...I like donuts!" The two nations just looked around, unsure of what to do.

_**Alaska F. Braginski**_

_**Hiiiiiii  
I'm so glad you like to corn. Corn. CORRRN.  
So I have been eating things recently, and I discovered! Shrimp chips! China  
you are a genius! *Starts shaking china back and forth***_

_**So I have some more questions.**_

_**Russia: why do you keep a piece of human skin in your coat pocket?**_

_**Watch Llamas in Hats on YouTube. Fun, da?**_

_**China: wow your robes are nice! I think I will take some and give them to**_  
_**Kansas, da?**_

_**Sorry no more questions. I am tired; the election really stressed me out!**_

"GOD! POLITICS!" Vie covered her ears. "Why can't we all just be apart of the Winner Party?!"

"...What's the Winner Party, aru?"

"Just answer the next question!"

"Oh, umm, HEY!" China struggled as Alaska shook him back and forth. "No, you will not take my clothes, aru!" He stammered, trying his best not to vomit. Russia pulled the two away.

"Only Russia touches China, da? And it reminds me of all the wars a fought. Blood on snow looks very pretty, da?" The Russian then smiled and realized something. "Speaking of pretty, where are the Sunflowers?

"Ummm...it's fall. Sunflowers don't grow in fall."

"I want sunflower, da?!"

"OK! OK! Geeze! I'll get you a fucking sunflower!" Vie then pouted and made a few calls, none of which never went through. Fucking pricks... Suddenly a loud THUMP echoed the kitchen.

"Uhhh...Alaska just fainted, aru." China pointed out, lightly kicking the Alaskan with his shoe. Russia and Vie slowly looked at each other and nodded.

Soon after that, Alaska was laying outside in the rain, with an ear of corn next to him.

* * *

**A/N: Ask questions in review or PM. Expect more RoChu fluff because the stress I had before is gone now. (Report cards get me like that. XDD)**

**WHY IS THIS SO SHORT?! XDDDD More questions from you guys equals longer chapters, I guess. xD  
**

**I just realised, I never watched Llamas in Hats like Alaska asked. XDD Whoops. ^^;  
**


	9. Chapter 9

"What the fuck is wrong with you two?!" Vie waved her hand around and stomped her foot. "You really didn't know all the crap you plugged in wasn't going to blow a fucking fuse?!" The authoress crossed her arms and pouted before slumping in her chair. Russia, who was busy playing with China's hair, spoke.

"Well, I knew, I just wanted to see you mad, da?"

"You're a piece of work, Russia." Vie snapped back.

"Well, what are we supposed to do now, aru?"

"Da. China's hair is getting all tangled up." Russia lifted his hand to show that it was tangled in the Chinese man's locks.

"WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT PLAYING WITH MY HAIR, ARU?!" China flailed and tried to smack the Russian away. Vie sighed and grabbed her brush.

"Hold still." Vie then proceeded to brush the hair back to it's old silky state and removed the Russian's hand. "Russia, check for questions. My phone should pick up a signal. It's been days."

_**Alaska F. Braginski**_

_**Nooooo! The corn, it must not get wet! *Hisses and crouches in a corner,**_  
_** stoking the corn and saying stuff in Russian to it.*** _

"HE'S STILL OUT THERE?!" Vie yelled, shock evident on her face.

"Apparently." China looked out the window to the back door and saw the Alaskan stroking the corn, looking like he hasn't showered in days. "Poor him...let's not let him back in."

"Agreed." The authoress and silver-haired man took a quick glance after they finished saying the same word at the same time.

"...JINX! 1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9-10! I DEMAND A SODA!" Vie knocked on a random piece of wood and stuck her hand out.

"...No."

"Didn't think so..."

_**Blackrose **_

_** Blackrose:Heyy guys!*Looks down at hand and sees red stuff all over**_  
_** it*Whoa,man!What did I do last night?Is that blood?Wait no that's**_  
_** whoWAHH!Cat in the face!Get off kittie!*Throws cat off of face*AS I was**_  
_** saying*looks around for more killer cats*here are my questions,**_  
_** Both:What are your favorite foods?(Random question,yes I know)Vodka doesn't**_  
_** count!**_  
_** Russia:Did you know they sell Vodka in magazines?Do you ever feel the need for**_  
_**insane(murderous)laughter?**_

_**Where do you keep your pipe?What if Belarus came up**_  
_** behind you and hugged you?What would you do?Have you heard the song 'Blood' by**_  
_** In this moment?Here's a sunflower*hands sunflower***_  
_** China:What would you do if Japan came up to you and hugged you and said 'I'm**_  
_** sorry' for ALL the things he did to you?What would you do if he was in the**_  
_** room RIGHT now?Did you know that they sell scarves with little knitted panda**_  
_** faces on them?GO PANDAS!Sorry I had a spaztastic moment.**_  
_** Blackrose** _

"But vodka is a food, da!" Russia explained. "It's gives me energy." He sighed. "Well, other then vodka, I like _Borshch_, or beet soup, as you Americans call it..."

"You know not all the readers are American, right?" Vie lifted a finger.

"Too bad." Russia shrugged and Vie looked around, worried that some readers from other countries that aren't America will come and beat her ass.

"I like Chow Mein, aru." China smiled. "If only I had some..."

"I keep my pipe my jacket. And I would panic, da. Like that one time she sneaked up behind me when I was listening to France's radio show." Russia took a moment to look around fearfully. "And no, I haven't. Is it any good?" Russia then grabbed the sunflower and smiled. "Thank you. I will repay you, one day, da?"

"I would probably forgive him. But he hasn't done that yet so I'm not forgiving anytime soon, aru." China pouted. "I would ignore him. He would make a good friend for Vie." Vie was currently trying to draw anime eyes on her hand.

"HOW DO THE JAPANESE DO THIS?!" Vie threw her pencil across the room. "I should stick with my regular drawing."

"Stop teasing me with the panda products, aru! I have to stay to answer these questions!" China covered his ears. "I can't hear you, aru!"

_**RussiasSunflower**_

_** Dear Russia and china...**_  
_** China:What made you fall this in love with Russia?**_  
_** Russia:Did you to become "One" yet?**_  
_** J** _

Russia took one glance at the username and at the sunflower he was holding. He then proceeded to talk to the flower. "I assume by 'one', you mean sex. Then, da. We have become one many times. Many...many t-"

"Russia...stop that..." Vie mumbled.

"Well, it started when he said I was going to be living with him, aru. I swear, I thought he was going to cut me up and sell my meat." China shivered at the thought and continued. "I started warming up to him after I stopped thinking he was going to kill me, aru."

"...That wasn't a lovey dovey story at all." Vie crossed her arms.

"You're so stereotypical, you know that, aru?"

"I know... So, what do we do now?"

* * *

**A/N: Sort of specail event on Ask RoChu. The power's out and your guys have to tell Vie, Russia, and China what they should do. Like, truth or dare, but just with the dare option. Include questions too. ^^ Review or PM your dares and questions. PM is preferred. Three chapters only for this event.**


	10. Chapter 10

Vie cuddled up to her sack of green apples from a few chapters ago. "I'm too young to die! I'm too young to die! I'm too young to fucking die!" She rocked back and forth on the kitchen floor, whimpering. Russia and China looked at each other and back to the sniveling figure on the ground.

"Umm, Vie. It's only been an hour, aru." China said, pointing at the time on their only source of power, Vie's cellphone.

"I NEED MY LAPTOP BACK!" Vie complained, sniffling. "How do you two do this?!"

"We're not greedy. Or technology-obsessed, da?" Russia pointed out, smiling his usual smile. He fiddled with his scarf, chuckling.

"Shut up! Let's just answer questions before I go insane." Vie yelled, stroking the sack. "It's OK, apples. I'll eat you after I cuddle you!"

How did the nations get stuck with this idiot?

_**Alaska F. Braginski**_

_**You feel sorry for me I am so touched. Poor Ms. Corn didnt make it. I got**_  
_**hungry so I had to eat her. :( *Puts corn cob into a little coffin, and buries**_  
_**it, weeping* But anyway.**_

_***knocks over door with crowbar and walks in***_

_**Hiiiiii I am back, da?**_

_**So Russia: What is your favorite Chinese food?**_  
_**Dare: You know how you can take out your heart, please take out your brain.**_  
_***Hands Russia a chainsaw* Helpful, da?**_

_**China: What is your favorite Russian food?**_  
_**Dare: Bite off Russia's nose and eat it. Da?**_

_**That is all**_  
_**I made some more coffins sooooo... *gives Vie 21 coffins* If any of your**_  
_**friends die, you will be prepared, da? *winks like he knows a secret***_**  
**

"Umm...that was weird..." Vie commented, looking at the message. "Why did he refer to the corn as 'Ms.'?"

"I don't want to know, aru." China shrugged, then the door broke down. In the door way stood the Alaskan from earlier. His purple eyes had a more creepy glint than usual. Did we mention the corn all over his face? Oh, well, there was corn kernels all over his face too.

"Oh...my...God... CIVILIZATION!" Vie then proceeded to hug the man. "I'm so glad your here! Gimme!" She then took his phone. "Thanks."

"We are not going those dares." China and Russia confirmed.

"Why not, da?" Alaska gave the two a look.

"Noses are the nastiest part to eat, aru! I'm not doing it!"

"And, I don't want to unscrew my head ag- I mean, I'm just not in the mood to play with chainsaws, but I'll keep it anyway." Russia clutched the sharp tool close to his chest.

Vie held the coffins and hand an idea. "A coffin fort...why didn't I think of that?! You're helping me!" She then grabbed Alaska's hand.

"What?! Why me?!"

"'Cause you're good with this building thing, apparently." Vie stated, starting to pull the wood pieces apart. "Why are you just standing there? Help me." She looked at the Alaskan, who was infact just standing like an idiot.

_**Hex the Ninja**_

_** Dear Everyone! :D**_

_** Uh... I don't know what could help... I'd just throw a knife at the power**_  
_** cables and blame it on Cynthia! Or anyone else who has a knife!**_

_** (KNIVES AREN'T THE SOLUTION TO EVERYTHING!)**_

_** Shut up, Troy! You know nothing!**_

_** (WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR SANITY?!)**_

_** I threw it out the window! Look at it GOOOOOOOOO! :D**_

_** (...End the letter. Please. This is getting painful.)**_

_** Kay-kay!**_

_** Talk to you again later, I guess!**_

_** Bianca D. Fides**_  
_** (and Troy)**_**  
**

Silence was exchanged through the four and Vie shrugged. "Well, no one got hurt."

"That would've made this day better if someone did, da?" Russia added.

"No it wouldn't, aru!"

_**YouTubeStupidity12**_

_** Koneko (Tokyo): I don't see the reason in-**_  
_** Bu-Ling: It is obvious! Look. Right. Here. (*points at the paper*) We're**_  
_** cousins, aru!**_  
_** Koneko: *scowls* No, we're not.**_  
_** Bu-Ling: YES WE ARE, ARU!**_  
_** Anya: Puddin, the review.**_  
_** Bu-Ling: *looks at the laptop* Oh.**_

_** Questions-**_

_** -We have a compromise, da? I smash D.C's head in, and you smash America's head**_  
_** in, da? Do you agree?**_

_** -Mom! Tell Koneko that she is my cousin, aru! (Koneko: No, I am not! You know**_  
_** what happened a long time ago!) Shut up, Koneko. (Koneko: I swear to the kami**_  
_** that you are stubborn, just like your mother!)**_

_** -Could you help me get out of here, China?! Beijing-baka and Moscow-san have**_  
_** held me hostage! Can you tell my father (Japan) that Beijing-baka held me**_  
_** hostage AGAIN? (Anya: She is so unlike her father, da? Bu-Ling: No, that's the**_  
_** panic attack. She acts like that when she is panicked.)**_

_** -Um...I think Alexis (D.C), Victoria (London) and Jeanette (Paris) got stuck**_  
_** in your closet...could you help them for us?**_

_** -*Anya is shaking* Father...did you know that Belarus is coming with a RABID**_  
_** LEGION OF RUSSIA FANGIRLS?!**_

_**-From Anya, Pudding, and a captive Koneko** _

Everyone stayed quiet after the Belarus comment.

"...We should hide." Russia was already one step ahead of the authoress, since he was hiding under the table. A knock was heard for the closet and everyone turned to it. "No! I don't want more people in my house! They'll eat my food! That's _MY_ job!" Vie blocked the closet tightly. "Go use the teleporting suitcase."

**_BrittGrigg_**

**_ BrittGrigg:Ciao! It's me again! I hope you are doing fine._**

**_ Russia: out of curiosity, do you stalk Yao everywhere?_**

**_ China: which of the Allies do you hate most?_**

**_ Ja ne!_ **

"No, I don't stalk my panda bear everywhere. Sometimes he doesn't tell me where he's going, da..." Russia sighed softly in a bit of sadness.

"I hate England the most, aru! He can't cook, he's rude, and he took Hong Kong from me, aru!" China pouted and mumbled more insults at the British man. Vie looked through her phone and saw that there were no more messages. "Well, that's it. Now we wait...and suffer." Vie sniffed and texted on her phone, only to get it taken away by the Chinese nation. "We don't need this to die."

"But...but..!"

"No, aru!"

"Fine...dick."

* * *

_**A/N: Sorry for the longest update ever. xDDD I'll update faster now. .u.**_


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